The Waiting Game

Have you ever had to wait for something? 

We've all had to wait in line for coffee, tapping our toe, impatiently waiting for the Barista to hand us the hot, delicious drink we ordered a whopping three minutes ago, but seems like sooo much longer.  

What about the grocery store? I have a few things in my basket and I size up the shortest line and put my things on the belt.  But I quickly surmise this was the wrong line to choose! You know the one...the lady in front of me who has no where else to be and is in conversation with the slow motion checker... I sigh and inwardly berate these people who have brought my quick trip to a screeching halt. 

We all know what it's like to wait.  And we're terrible at it because we're Americans who buy into the lie that we deserve to have what we want when we want it, and we shouldn't have to wait for it.  There are drive thru windows and express lines, the internet and smart phones, all working around the clock to make sure we don't have to wait for much of anything.  We chuckle to ourselves because we know we're guilty of being so impatient and in the grand scheme of things, a line at the latte stand matters little.

But have you endured real waiting in your life? More than a superficial few minutes in a line or at a stop light. More than a few days for the book to arrive that you ordered online. I'm talking about a real, extended time of pause or delay, in which you are expectant that something will come to pass...but it doesn't...yet. I mean a wait that takes on a life of it's own; a soul shaping, day-in day-out, is this ever going to pass, character shaping wait.  What? You know exactly what I mean? You're in this same place? It's hard isn't it? I mean, really hard. If you're in a season of waiting, I want to encourage you. I want to encourage you to keep the faith and when you want to give up-don't. 

I'm not going to give you a one liner that you can post on your refrigerator, like, "when you reach the end of your rope, make a knot and hang on."  I don't want to share a tidy little acronym that will spur you on, like this one: FEAR-False Evidence Appearing Real. I don't have a spunky little cheer or a four point sermon, or a team building exercise. Why not? Because my experience and my conversation with others confirms that THEY AREN'T HELPFUL! Not really.  When I'm going through a hard time and I need encouragement, don't give me a cliche or a one liner. Give me an ear that will listen, a shoulder to cry on if I need it, a helping hand if you choose, but most importantly, just walk beside me and let me know it will be alright in the end.

So here's my take on the waiting game...

1. Waiting reminds me that it's not all about me.  WHA??? I honestly don't think I'm a self absorbed lady, who thinks life is all about me, but we all have our days when we feel like we're a big deal. When I am waiting on something I really need, I have a tendency to think and say things like, "You know this is affecting me on a daily basis, right?" "I can't finish ______ until I get what I'm waiting on."  As true as those statements may be, it's not all about me.  Sometimes we just need to be reminded of our place in this big universe.

2. Waiting strips me of pride.  This is a bit of a continuation of the first point. I had to buy a new-to-me car a few months ago after mine was stolen, and only a couple days after I bought it, there was an electrical issue so it went to the shop. Bear in mind this purchase would be a meager financial investment for many, but for me was every bit of savings and then some that I had. Twelve weeks later, my car is not only still at the shop, there seems to be no clear date when it will be repaired and ready for me to drive again.  By anyone's standards  I have been waiting A LONG TIME! While many people close to me have been willing to help me with transportation, there have been moments when I was stranded. Now, I know many who have ridden the bus plenty and love it for convenience, etc., but I have always had a car to jump into at my whim and zip off to wherever I wanted or needed to go. But one day recently, I was out of options and, you guessed it, the bus it was.  I waited for just a couple minutes, right by my office, but you know what? It felt a little uncomfortable as cars drove by, to be standing there, waiting. Why? I guess because I felt small and unimportant.  Like the big, important people were getting into their own cars and zooming on their own terms to wherever they were headed. In the end, my bus riding experience was fairly pleasant, though it took quite a bit longer to get home (more because of the walk to my house when I got off the bus, than the bus ride itself).  But, I realized it stripped me of a pride I didn't want to admit to.

3. Waiting highlights what's really important. You could be waiting for more than a car.  It may sound trivial to you, in fact. Are you waiting for employment? For a diagnosis? For a soldier to come home? I don't know what you may be waiting for, but I do know this.  In the bigger picture, me being without a car for months is trivial compared to my health, or my kids being safe, or my relationships being whole. Not having a car for me has been more than inconvenient.  It's tapped my financial resources, put me in a bind on more than one occasion, been the cause of canceled trips and missed social gatherings. But my wait continues to remind me of all the things I do have to be grateful for and gives me perspective.  If your wait is much bigger-much harder-you may be rolling your eyes.  But I get it!  I've been in the high stakes waiting game as well. And no matter what you may be waiting for, you will be reminded of something wonderful in your life that will give you pause for gratitude.

4. Waiting reveals your real character.  This is the kicker. I'd like to think I have integrity, gratitude, patience, maturity, and a whole host of other qualities.  But waiting, at times, has brought out the ugly things that I don't want to see.  Whining, complaining, sighing, comparing my misfortune with the fortune of others...these have reared their ugly heads on more than one occasion. And then I have to take a step back and remind myself of all the reasons I have to be grateful and content.  Are we promised an easy life? Do we deserve what we think we deserve? Do I have what I need today? Yes! Is it always what I want? No. This I know: the men and women I admire, those that have a deep gratitude for life's blessings, and have real depth of character, have not walked an easy road and have not been dealt an easy hand, so to speak.  It's struggle and desert places that often produce the sweetest character in us, if we will be stretched and yield to the One who is faithful to provide our every need. If you are waiting, and are a person of faith--hold on.  You have not been left in the desert alone and without purpose.  Learn what it is that God is teaching you about yourself, and about Him.

So there it is.  These are just a few of the many lessons that I have reflected on the last three months. Waiting is hard! It's inconvenient, frustrating, and sometimes unfair.  But it hasn't killed me. And it's stretched me and given me some perspective I wouldn't have had otherwise.

If you're waiting, hang on. You made it one more day. One foot in front of the other. Grow and learn in what ever ways you are meant to. Let the people in your life help you.  See the good. Breathe.

Blessings to you!